Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Place: 346 Broadway - Criminal Court Manhattan.

Date: April 8, 2009 - your very own's waffle master's birthday

  • Thomas DeGeest (as the waffle-guy, dressed casually in jeans and sweater)

  • Joe Kurtz (as delegate waffle-guy, dressed formally in dark suit and tie)

  • Jeffrey Levine (their lawyer, dressed in dark suit and tie, diamond earring, white sneakers)

  • The Judge (probably 74 years old, grumpy and laying deep in his seat)

  • Court room audience (a variety of characters arrested for peeing in the street, disorderly conduct and public consumption of alcoholic beverages)

  • Mr. Levine and waffle-guy are called to the judge

+ Mr. Levine (loud voice): GOODMORNING YOUR HONOR
- Judge (looks up from under his spectacles and says nothing)
40 seconds later
+ Mr. Levine (louder voice): GOODMORNING YOUR HONOR
- Judge (obviously they seem to know each other quite well from daily interactions), in grumpy voice: Goodmorning Mr. Levine.
+ Mr. Levine: Your Honor, we're going to need a little more time for this case today because it's really interesting.
- Judge (continues to be annoyed): If it's an interesting case, Mr. Levine, it shouldn't be heard here. Interesting cases ought to go to trial.
# Waffle-guy (face changes to white/green and starts sweating)
+ Mr. Levine: Well, your honor, it's not interesting in that way. It's interesting because it's....well...uh...unusual. You see, these two gentlemen here have a waffle truck. And they came back from catering a movieset in the Silvercup Studios in Queens. Then on Second Avenue, their truck stalled, and Mr. DeGeest decided to tow-start the vehicle by pulling it with his car. That's why they were towing a waffle truck with a rope from their car down Second Avenue. Your honor, I don't think this situation warrants a conviction for reckless driving.
- Judge (seems to wake up now and frowns. Then thinks. 30 seconds go by.
+ Mr. Levine: The waffle-truck, your honor, is a 1968 Chevy van. The vehicle is 41 years old.
- Judge (leans forward and studies the Joe, delegate waffle-guy): So, how much is it that you charge for a waffle?
^ Joe: Four dollar, sir.
- Judge (now starts smiling, with bright eyes wide open, loud voice so the whole court can hear): WHY DID YOU GENTLEMEN NOT APPLY WITH THE OBAMA STIMULUS PLAN FOR FUNDING SO YOU COULD BUY A NEW WAFFLE-TRUCK??
# Waffle-guy: Where can we send the application, sir?
- Judge (now completely enthralled with the humor of his own jokes - really loud and shaking from all the laughing he's doing): SIXTEENHUNDRED PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE. HOOHHHHAAAHOOAAAAA.

Case dismissed.


JDogg said...

Now that is a good day in court.

Thanks for the 2 good waffles on Easter Sunday.

Lisa E said...

Excellent news! You're free ~ Free to sell wafels another day.. Hallelujah!
And, of course, Belated Happy Birthday Darling!!

Lisa E said...

Excellent news! You're free ~ ~ Free to sell wafels another day.. Hallelujah!
And, of course, Belated Happy Birthday, Darling!!

TODAY SHOW hosts the Waffle Guy

They don't make 'm anymore like that...