Thursday, July 14, 2011

Quarterly Statement to the King

Most Honorable King,

Before I share with you the momentous progress we have made in the past months, I would like to sincerely apologize for the lack of communication to you and the ministry. For the past 6 months, Wafels & Dinges has been extraordinarily busy establishing internal communication with wafel lovers on American soil.  We regret that communication to the motherland has been curbed. The visit from the prince and princess served to rattle our dinges into more sane reasoning.  We’re ready to again report on our wafel progress! 

We are very pleased to inform you that the construction of our brand new commissary has been completed. We assure you, subsidies received by the ministry have been put to good use. Sadly, we have received complaints from Belgian pigeon race enthusiasts who were less than amused by the pigeon race tax you put in place to finance our project. We tried appeasing them by inviting them over for a tour of the new facilities. Unfortunately, the majority of them were too afraid to fly. We couldn’t even lure them with bread crumbs…

Our second noteworthy item of improvement is our Spekuloos ice cream. As you know from our top secret cables to the ministry, we were having difficulties perfecting the unique and delicate taste. Because of the Speculoos spread's oily nature, the derived ice cream was wildly delicious, but still fell below our high standards. Never fear! We have found the solution. By using the actual Spekuloos cookies instead of the spread, we’ve raised ice cream delight to a new level. Not only do the cookie chunks enhance the flavor, they also add a whole new textural dimension. We are very proud of this achievement and reviews have been encouragingly positive.

Thank you, dear King, for your attention to our updates.  We hope you are pleased with our progress.  We look forward to keep impressing you and your people in the future.

Wafels know no borders.


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